Dreams
by StarLord19
Summary: *WARNING - MAJOR AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS AHEAD AND TRIGGER WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACKS* Gamora is dead. Peter has already lost so much. How is he going to get through this pain? He dreams. Not of good things, like he used to. He used to dream of travelling the stars, and his dream came true. But sometimes, you have to wake up.
1. 01

The first thing Quill wanted to do upon his return was to find Gamora.

When he and the others were brought back to life, his first concern was Gamora above all others. 'What about Gamora?' Quill asked the others. 'Did you bring her back?'

The other Avengers and Guardians just stared at him with sadness. Rocket turned to his friend to tell him the inevitable news. 'Quill, I'm so sorry.' Rocket told him. 'She's gone.'

Ever since what had happened back on Knowhere back in 2014, Rocket's worst fear was telling Quill he had to say goodbye to his beloved Gamora. And Rocket looked into Quill's face and could almost pinpoint the moment his heart broke, as tears began to fall from the Terran's eyes. 'No,' Quill said, 'No, no-'

Before he could say anymore, his heads were in his hands, as he felt waterfalls of tears running down his face, and a sharp, stabbing pain in his heart. As if his day couldn't get any worse.

Nebula approached Quill, who was still crying. 'Gamora died on Vormir,' she said, 'maybe that's where her body is.'

'Oh, god,' Quill said, knowing exactly what the blue lady meant. He still cried as Wanda, who had also lost the love of her life, and many other Avengers came and sat down beside him.

But Peter Parker was still sat alone, in sadness, still wearing his Iron Spider suit. It was the last thing that had been left for him by Tony before he too died in the terrible war.

Quill came down and sat beside Peter.

'I know how it feels, kid,' he said, putting his arm around the shoulder of the grieving young boy. 'And it's not your fault. Don't ever think it's your fault that he's gone. It was him, and him only. Nobody else.'

But Quill was still struggling to relieve himself of the terrible guilt that he was also going through. If he hadn't acted up on Titan, he thought, then nobody would have to be brought back, and the universe would be fine in the first place.

And with the guilt and grief cane fear. Fear of dying, and of others dying. He had experienced death before, when Thanos had snapped his fingers. And now he knew what it was like, and there was nothing less he wanted than to die again, and spiral into that dark abyss again, let alone have that happen to the one thing he had loved most at that time.

Why would people even want to die anyway? He had always thought about death and what it truly meant to die. A lot of what Quill loved had died: his mother, his father, Yondu, and now Gamora too. And in the worst possible place too - instead of dying among her friends, like she had previously desired, her past had caught up to her and her life ended at the hands of her adoptive father Thanos.

Fortunately for Quill, he did manage to play a part when that piece of shit died, as all the Avengers had killed him together like they should. But revenge wasn't enough. It couldn't bring back his beloved Gamora, not wash away the blood of trillions that he still felt on his hands.

So what was he going to do? Find someone else? Travel around the universe as if nothing had ever happened? Find someone new? Quill couldn't think of any way to get rid of the terrible grief that had been piled upon him. Whilst being trapped in these thoughts, he heard a voice suddenly speak to him.

'Quill,' Rocket said, waking Quill from his almost trance like mourning, 'we need to go to Vormir. And we need to give Gamora a proper goodbye.'

'No-' Quill yelled out loud, before checking if anyone was staring at him. 'I don't want to say goodbye to her,' he wept. 'I don't want her to go.'

'But the thing is, Quill,' Rocket said, 'she's already gone. You might as well say goodbye to her.'

'I can't just let go of her!' Quill said, through his tears. 'Why couldn't it have been me? Oh just look at me, the great Star-Lord, who can't keep a girl? What a jackass!'

'Quill.' Rocket said, 'we've all lost stuff, and everyone's got dead people. How do you think I feel when I thought I had lost you and the others?'

'Rocket, you're so strong,' Quill said. 'If it was me in your place, I couldn't have lived with it. I can't even live with one of my friends dying, let alone all of them. Along with half the universe too! You were right Rocket. All this time you were right. You are better than me!'

'No, Quill,' Rocket said, as he felt his heart drop. 'No, Quill, you really need to stop beating yourself up. Me, honestly - I'm a terrible person. And I was made that way.'

'But you're so much stronger emotionally than me, Rocket!' Quill protested.

'That's not a good thing, Quill,' Rocket said, 'and one more thing.'

'What, Rocket?' Quill asked.

'I wish I had such a heart as you do,' Rocket said. Quill smirked at this and hugged Rocket before they walked back to the Benatar to travel to Vormir.

On the trip to Vormir, no one wanted to talk. The Guardians, despite being saved along with the whole universe, were anything but happy. Meanwhile the song playing reminded Quill of one of the last times he was happy. It was the song which had played during one of his happier times with Gamora.

'I fooled around and fell in love' belted the soulful voice of Elvin Bishop just as it had when he and Gamora had first properly spoke - every time he heard that song he could pinpoint the moment in which Gamora had yelled 'The melody is pleasant!', seemingly out of nowhere. He remembered this, and chuckled slightly before the smiles turned to tears. Because Knowhere also happened to be the place they spoke for the last time too.

'I love you more than anything,' Gamora had said to Quill that fateful day. 'I love you too,' Quill replied, as he prepared to pull the trigger to make the ultimate sacrifice to save the universe. But as he did, the gun had turned to bubbles from Thanos's Reality Stone. 'I like you,' the cold, deep voice of Thanos had said before he teleported away taking Gamora with him, leaving only her sword behind. Drawn back into the present, he quickly transferred controls of the ship to Rocket.

'What?' Rocket asked, puzzled.

'You're in control of the ship,' Quill said, as he felt his heart in his mouth and began to sweat and convulse with fear and grief.

'Quill?' Drax asked. 'Are you alright?'

'I'm fine,' Quill lied.

Mantis then ran over to Quill. 'He is feeling anxious,' she said. She touched him, but could barely hold her hands on him for a second before letting go. 'He...is in anguish!' Mantis said.

'Yeah, I got that,' Quill said.

Groot walked up to them. 'I am Groot?' he asked, confused.

'Groot, this is none of your business,' Rocket groaned.

'I am Groot,' Groot sighed before playing on his video game again.

Mantis then softly touched Quill upon the forehead, which calmed him down. 'Are you okay, Quill?' she asked.

'Don't worry about that,' Quill said. 'Nothing really happened.'

'You were convulsing and sweating!' Rocket said. 'You were not okay!'

'But it usually passes really easily,' Quill said. 'It's alright. I'm alright.'

'We're inbound,' Rocket said. And soon enough, the dark plains of Vormir lay ahead.

Quill had never been to Vormir before, but he was always told it was a dark, depressing place. And when he arrived on the planet; it turned out all those tales of Vormir could not be more true. He stepped out of the ship, and out into the dark depressing landscape, looking for Gamora, when he saw a hooded figure.

'Welcome,' the figure said, 'The Soul Stone is gone.'

'Yeah, I know that,' Quill said, 'but there's something that means so much more to me than just a stupid ass orange rock. Where's Gamora?'

The figure revealed its face - he had a terrifying, skull like deformity. 'Why do you ask that?' the Red Skull replied. 'Would you like to join her?' The figure laughed as Quill pointed one of his guns to his head. 'Where is she?' Quill snapped, his voice shaking with anger. 'She's as good as dead, young Terran,' the Red Skull replied. 'Yeah, but where is she?' Quill said.

'On the canyon floor of the mighty cliff,' the Red Skull replied, 'why don't you have a look for yourself?'

'You know what?' Quill said, 'I will. But first...'

Quill then pulled out his gun and shot the Red Skull in the head, killing him. 'I am Groot!' Groot yelled in alarm.

'What, Groot?' Quill said, 'Do you think I'm stupid enough to let him throw me off the edge of that cliff? Come on.'

He then peered over the cliff edge. And he saw an image which would soon haunt him for the rest of his life.

There, on the cliff floor, the body of his beloved Gamora lay sprawled out on the ground, dead.

Being at the edge of this cliff, Quill thought in that moment of jumping off the cliff. He wanted to die more than ever. And, when the time came, he was most definitely ready to die. But he couldn't jump at all. 'Rocket, get me an aero rig,' Quill said. 'I'm flying down to her,'

And with that, Rocket provided Quill his aerorig as he prepared to fly down to pick Gamora up one last time.

When he landed on that cliff floor, and saw Gamora's body in closed detail, he couldn't stare at it longer than he needed to, and held Gamora's face. For some reason, at that moment, Quill wished his presence could just suddenly spring Gamora to life, as of like magic. But he didn't have that power. Not anymore anyway. He was half Celestial but could no longer use the light.

Quill then took a long breath. 'Gamora,' he said. 'Oh, dear Gamora I'm so sorry I allowed this to happen to you. It was all my fault.' Tears welled up in his eyes as Gamora lay dead and unresponsive.

All the Guardians watched from the top of the cliff above as Quill hopelessly held what was left of the love of his life in his arms, tears running down his face.


	2. 02

As Peter took the body to the Benatar, tears kept streaming down his face as he prepared to cremate the body of his beloved Gamora.

He never thought he would have to do this, but unfortunately he had to today.

As he lay Gamora's body down onto his ship he then cleared his throat before speaking about how great she was.

'Gamora was...well, for starters, the deadliest woman in the galaxy,' Quill said as she lay upon the table. 'But first, and foremost, she was the first person to speak to me as if I was actually a person, and not someone else's tool. She was...one of the best things to happen to me. She helped me through many of our darkest hours. But no hour is as dark as the hour in which you are gone, Gamora.' Tears streamed down Quill's face as everyone else looked on with sympathy. 'Honestly,' Quill said, 'if I could turn back time and find a way to stop that bastard from killing you, I would. Of course, Yondu did love me as a son, but I didn't really know at the time. But Gamora...you were amazing. You were one of the things that made me who I was meant to be. And now I know what I was meant to be. Thank you...and goodbye Gamora.'

He then pushed the tray which Gamora lay on into the crematory, and Quill still felt the tears run down his face like waterfalls.

Then suddenly a portal opened, with yellow fire cracks and a familiar man walked out.

'Strange?' Quill asked.

'Quill, who the hell is this?' Rocket said, pulling out his gun.

'Rocket, put it away,' Quill said, 'he's a friend. Why are you here, Strange?'

'I have a gift for you, Quill,' Strange said. 'Providing Gamora was lost to the Soul Stone and is probably trapped in there, I give you this necklace.'

He then gave Quill a small, brown amulet. 'And inside this necklace,' Strange said, opening up to reveal the orange gem inside, 'the Soul Stone.'

Quill quickly shut the amulet before instantly reaching into Strange for a hug.

'Alright, Quill, it's just a necklace,' Strange said.

'You don't know how much Gamora meant to me,' Quill said. 'If her soul really does lie in there, then...'

'She'll always be with you,' Strange said.

'Thank you so much, Strange,' Quill said. As Strange prepared to open up the portal and walk back through. 'Wait,' Quill said. Strange turned back. 'What?' Strange asked. 'If aliens start invading Earth again, and the Avengers can't deal with them alone, feel free to give us a call,'

'Yeah,' Strange replied as he went back through the portal.

As Gamora's body was cremated, hundreds of ships came around the Guardians's ship.

'Ravagers?' Rocket asked.

'Wait, no,' Quill said, 'not just the Ravagers. There's more than that.'

More and more ships which Quill recognised from mainly of the friendly planets that he had visited arrived at the funeral. Including one which was quite familiar to him. It was the Avengers' Quinjet.

The intercom buzzed. 'Hey, Quill,' a low, soft voice said over the intercom, 'it's me.'

Rocket ran over to the intercom, excitedly. 'Thor!' Rocket yelled. 'Hello, rabbit,' Thor said.

'Anyway, Quill, I called beings from every planet that you and your friends have saved, just to show you that the universe stands with you in every single loss you suffer. Basically in shorter words, so you don't feel alone.'

'Thank you so much, Thor,' Quill said. 'Sorry about the guys on your team that died too.'

'Yeah,' Thor said, 'I will miss them. They were great, and they laid down their lives to save the universe.'

'Of course,' Quill said.

'Farewell, old friend,' Thor said before turning off the intercom.

Quill sat alone, watching Gamora's remains sparkle into the vacuum of space, and Rocket quickly joined him, followed by Groot, Drax and Mantis.

Meanwhile, on a nearby ship, Nebula sat alone, staring at Gamora's remains in space.

'Goodbye sister,' she said to herself before continuing on her own path around the universe.

That night, Quill began having terrible dreams. He begin to dream about all the suffering that Gamora probably went through before Thanos killed her, and also a mysterious white figure. In the dream, he and Gamora were trapped in a dark room, tied to the wall. But it wasn't Thanos who entered the room. It was somebody else. Gamora looked at Quill in fear as the figure approached her. 'Ebony Maw,' Gamora said. 'Sister,' Ebony Maw replied as he reached to touch her face.

'YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!' Quill yelled. 'I will make you truly loyal to Thanos, Gamora, like you should have been all this time. But first, I will take away any obstacles that lie there.'

'NO!' Gamora yelled. Quill watched with fear as Ebony used his powers to pull hidden spikes from the wall, and threw them straight at Quill, who screamed in agony as he felt the spikes pierce through his skin, his body stained with his own blood. Then Ebony directed one final spike at his head.

'QUILL!' a voice shouted. It was Rocket, standing next to Quill's bed. 'Quill, are you alright?'

Quill leaped from his bed and aimed his gun at the doorway in fear, heavily breathing, before calming down. 'It's okay.' Quill said. 'It's just a dream.'

'What happened in it?' Rocket asked.

'Some weird, Emperor Palpatine guy who was Thanos's child trapped me and Gamora in some room, then killed me.'

'Did he have a name?' Rocket asked.

'I think he was called...Ebony Maw.' Quill said.

'Oh Jesus Christ, can't these bad guys pick better names?' Rocket said, which drew a chuckle from Quill, as he tried to downplay what had happened in his dream, but felt a tinge of fear.

'Rocket, do you think Thanos and his children could come back?' Quill said worriedly.

'What?' Rocket said, 'No! They're all dead! We killed them! Just forget about them!'

'It's not that simple,' Quill said, 'It's really not that simple. I can't just forget about what happened that time!'

'Then maybe we should just keep ourselves occupied then.' Rocket suggested.

'What should we do then?' Quill said. 'Shall we try to get another score? See if anyone needs our help? Just chill?'

'I don't know,' Rocket said, 'as long as it helps you. It is up to you after all,'

'Yeah,' Quill said.

'I AM GROOT!' Groot screamed angrily at his game.

'Groot, what did I tell you about going on that thing when you're supposed to be in bed?' Quill said.

'I am Groot,' Groot whined.

'Zip it!' Rocket snapped. Quill chuckled a little bit.

'Ah, it's just a phase Rocket,' he said, 'he'll grow out of it.'

'I goddamn hope so,' Rocket said, and Quill chuckled again.


End file.
